From the book Mildred, Quit Hollering by Curtis Copeland and Michael Galloway. Told by Otto Rayburn to Gordon McCann; Rayburn heard it himself from Dewey Short of Galena, Missouri, who heard it at his nephew’s home in Springfield, MO, in the 1980’s.
The Ledbetter family lived on a 10-acre plot in Douglas Co., Mo. There was Pa, Ma, and two boys. The youngest boy, John, wasn’t much of a worker, just mostly trapped, noodled, hunted and such. As years passed the older boy got married and left home. Then later Ma passed on and then Pa. So Johnny was left on his own and he sure wasn’t gonna spend the rest of his life on that pitiful 10 acres. He wanted to see the world! He was gonna to go to Springfield! He sold the farm, packed what he had in his Pa’s old cardboard suitcase, and got a ride on the MFA farm truck. The driver let him off on College Street and told him to head up College St. and he’d get to the Square. So Johnny headed right up the street to see this “Square.”
Now you have to picture Johnny… Never had a bath, never a haircut …a one strop pair of overalls with big clodhoppers… really didn’t look human. Just before you got to the Square was the Metropolitan Hotel with a big barbershop on the first floor. It was a slow day and one of the barbers was standing looking out, and he spotted Johnny. He yelled for the other to come look. They’d never seen anything like Johnny! The barber who saw him first said he could make him look like a movie star. The others bet he couldn’t.
Just as Johnny got by the front door the barber stepped out and said “Sir, you are lucky, you’re the 100th person to pass by today so you’re entitled to a free hair cut!” Johnny couldn’t believe it. He said, “What do I do?” The barber told him to just sit in that chair and he’d do the rest. The barber worked and worked up a sweat and finally swung Johnny around so he could see himself in the mirror, and he didn’t recognize himself. The barber said we’re not through. “You see that little pink table with the two little pink chairs? You go sit there and Miss Delight is going to come and work on your hands.”
Johnny had just sat down and here came the best-looking girl he had ever seen. She came up with two bowls of warm soapy water and put his hands in them and began rubbing his fingers. She was blond with a short skirt and a blouse so low cut that her breasts were just about to come out. Then at least three or four times she had to rewarm the water, and as she did she put on a show with that short skirt. Johnny couldn’t say anything he was so fascinated by it all. Finally, she said “Johnny, all I have left to do is to push your cuticle down.” Johnny said, “Young lady, if’en you’ll stop a’showin’ your boobs and pullin’ on my fingers, I imagine it’ll go down by itself!”